Okay, so here I am again not knowing why exactly
I'm blogging! I mean there's soooo much I could talk about over here,
so much going on these days & thousands of thoughts and ideas are
rushing their way through my poor head.. but i still can't focus on
what i'm typing..
I thought staying out of home until evening
would dread the energy out of me & I'd end up sleeping until God knows
when, but I enjoy the fact that I feel hyper active and that I have
started to appreciate my time more than before, especially the
remaining hours before bed time.. i've also started to crave books
these few days! i need to go to Almagrudy's soon...
it seems like
Her gift are always gunna
turn out to be wallpapers ;) Check the
wallpaper's section to upload it to your desktop if you desire..
Focused
my website is extremely dead, I've been
promising myself to finish up a lot of things and add some new stuff
but I keep on delaying each day.. I even forgot half the things I had
planned to do >_<
* I'll never not need you... it's not my fault .. You made me believe that you'll always
be there... you never prepared me for your absence, no one ever did,
so how do you expect me to cope?... I was just a little girl that
wasn't yet introduced to the world of loss and grief... not yet able
to absorb the idea of "gone with the wind". Since the day you
left, you handed me the first chapter of the book of silent
sorrows, and left me with neither a happy nor a sad ending... and
now that years raised me up to be the person that I am this very
moment, I still do not get it... I have tried several times to
continue your book and add the most logical ending to it, but then
again, when it comes to you, nothing seems to follow reason.. I am
known to being the type of person that walks behind logic more than
emotions, but only with you i turn the other way round....... ?
Friday 16-9-2005 -
10:30 pm not complete!
~ During the times when we are stuffed
with a lot of work and we find our selves busy to the highest limit,
we start to wonder if we are actually forgetting things or people that
were part of our daily thoughts, and once this glimpse of thought
crosses our unsettled minds, we begin to drift away into silence ...
My last two weeks were quite stuffed with things, getting back home at
5 pm or so each day is about to become a routine soon.. I've first had
a short meeting with
Her,
and a couple of days after, I met up with my my pals
DR,
DG &
AWG{ sends them loads of
kisses n hugs} .. and just yesterday I had a nice evening with my
dear cousins... it's strange how whenever I spend some time with a
dear person, I have a feeling that the meeting is the last in which
I'd have the opportunity to talk to them again...
my hubby wanna be - I love his mum!
I'll have to stop until here because I just realized that I promised
my dad to finish some work for him but here I am struggling to type a
couple of words that don't seem to make any sense!
well, at least you know that I'm alive, right?
{ P.S : dad, I'm proud of you...}
Friday 9-9-2005
Remember when i said in my previous
update that I am craving some change in my life ? well, through the
past days I have made major decisions that are not only going to break
the routine I used to live in but would also put me into a frame of
various challenges .. I don't deny that everything happened so
suddenly and without enough thought but sometimes you just have this
strong feeling that a certain thing is going to happen, and weirdly,
you don't struggle to push it back ... in away, although things
seemed to have happened in a rush, I do not feel shocked nor
surprised...
My Reasons?... They do not seem to convince a lot of people, but they do at least
make sense to myself, and somehow, it really saddens me to hear that
some dear ones are making up reasons by themselves that left me in
total disbelief...
my days are passing as a weird
dream... i pray for God to provide me with enough strength and
patience...
I love the butterfly & the one who
gifted it :)
When I check on my comment box and
guestbook, it brings me joy to see the same nick names repeated over
and over again, even if they are few people that check on blog, but
the sight of their names have become a source of happiness to me :) I
Heart U ..
Something else i noticed recently is that many family members have
become daily visitors to my boring site! lol it's kinda interesting to
blab about whatever silly thing i do in here whenever we meet up.. i
truly miss them all.. there's so much i wanna blab about with my dear
cousins..
I'm such a bad girl, i have work to be
done for my uncle but still didn't get the time to work on anything
with all that's going on these days, i even had a dream that he asked
me about it and at the same day of the dream he called twice n i just
saw the missed calls minutes ago .. Enshallah ill work on it tomorrow
and on Saturday... it mussssssssst be done!!
{ It's so hard to get used to being
somewhere else on earth other than being around you guys.. i miss
everything about each one of you ... }
{ we should meet up some day, it's
shame we haven't had the opportunity to sit together this year.. }
Sunday 4-9-2005 -
2:30 pm
~ Great! it's only the second week and
i've already missed 3 classes , I skipped one of those three
because the instructor shakleh mayshaj3 :P .. and I also was late to
almost all my morning classes! what a good start
...
~ I can't believe how most of our
teachers know so little about what they teach and admit it to students
as well.. i prefer to search for information alone rather than take
knowledge from people who know so little .. what greaaaat education
we're getting .. ( sorry but I can't help not complain, it runs in
my viens)
~ I'm not being optimistic this year I
am I?
~ I'm craving some change really bad,
routine is slow suicide believe me..
~ I know it's too early, but am
starting to regret changing my major
no
good dxbgirl, noo good...!
~ Shantaram is an amazing book,
it talks about the life of an Australian fugitive, he escaped prison,
fell in love , made many friendships with people of different
backgrounds, joined the Mafia, fought in Afghanistan and throughout
his life, he experienced many types of loss and pain ( whether
emotional or physical) .. there's a big deal of violence picturing
which would disgust you and make you wonder if all that does happen in
the real world not just in Hollywood! but ofcourse there's also a good
amount of humor and alot of words that would make you pause and
think.. for all of the book worms out there, it's a MUST read..
~ It's weird how I survived around 7
months without changing my layout, that's new & NOT normal...
Sorry guys but I do not feel like
updating my page these days, i have a lot going on inside my head & I
want many things to be settled and organized in my life.. please wish
me luck one again..
Saturday 27-8-2005 -
10:30 pm
"
Whenever your in the car, always
take the pleasure of observing everything through the window,
everything is lively out there and you should never miss the views..."
When I was a little girl, I went to the
fish market with my grandma allah yr7amha..and while we we're
in the car , she said this sentence after she noticed that I wasn't
looking outside the window.. since that day, I have developed a habit
of sitting next to the window quietly and observing everything that
the window offers...
Moving my eyes from building to
building and from car to car, I sank slowly into the land of
thoughts... a flash back of that day visited me without a single knock
on the door.. everything seemed to have happened yesterday.. all
images were clear and easily brought back to my sight... I could
remember the tears and cries.. the ride to where you now rest.. the
smell of the sun's heat... the world around me that felt dead.. the
people who seemed like silent ghosts ..the blankness and doubt that
filled all my senses .. the ache that brought tears to my eyes
whenever I set an eye on my beloved brother... that day was being
repeated in random order in my head.. I saw mum's sudden tears... I
heard my brother's voice and my own asking the same question at the
same time, "HOW!!"..& "which one?!!" .... then came the
moment when I was sitting out side the room, & everyone else was
saying goodbye ... when my eyes fell in yours brother, I wished I
could undo all that has happened just for your sake...
I drew my eyes from the window to look
ahead of me and sigh silently... I turned to me left to take a glimpse
of my father, and at that moment I wondered if he ever thinks of you,
for I know how special you were to him...
Anyways, the first day at uni was
really tiring and extremely crowded.. for god's sake this uni is a
size of a school but they're stuffing thousands of girls all together,
there's not even any air left to breath :P but overall I'm happy to
see my gang after such a long time.. I missed them loads... and I just
wanted to let them know that I do not wish to leave you guys for i
honestly love your company so much.. but sometimes a person needs to
try out new things and seek his rest in other places even if it meant
to bare with a lot of hardships.. and after all, nothing is settled
yet so lets hope for the best pals..
lol
We have a new tiny member in the
family! congratulations to my cousin and his lovely wife on their
second kid and first son.. allah yj3aleh mn ethryah e9al7eh ya rab...
...
no
good dxbgirl, noo good...!
